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 "Your Priorities Are Showing! " 
By Kathy Gates, Professional  Life Coach

Everybody's heard the phrase,  "get your priorities straight".  But what does that mean?  Often I've found, it means that whoever is saying it doesn't think you have HIS priorities at the top of your list.  As a child, whenever my dad would say that in a stern voice to me, I often noticed that it was his goal that he thought I was ignoring, and not necessarily my own. 

The term 'creating priorities' goes by a lot of other names as well.  Some people call it focus; author Stephen Covey calls it being principal centered; a marketing campaign says "just do it".  What it means is that you choose what's important to you, and you direct  your time, energy, money, space, opportunity, etc. towards it.  You protect it.  You invest in it.  You simplify your life so that you are not distracted by things that do not CONTRIBUTE to your priorities.

In a magazine article I read recently, it noted that many of us are in overwhelm with the choices available to us.  As an example, there are 597 shades of red lipstick!  If you try to examine each and every option available to you, you'll spend all your time just trying to wade through them.   It's important to realize that things that are not directly contributing to your priorities are contaminating them.  Establishing a filter to quickly decide if it meets the criteria of your priorities is vitally important. 

Stephen Covey mentions how we tend to respond to urgent, but not necessarily important things, in our lives.  That is because we don't stop long enough to decide what's important, decide what we want to spend our time on, and most importantly decide what we DON'T want to spend our time on.  Instead we just respond to the next ringing phone, the next problem, the next color of lipstick that gets our attention. Distractions don't just take away your time, energy, and money; they actively contaminate your priorities. You must protect your priorities even at the risk of sounding selfish.   When you let go of your priorities to respond to someone else's agenda, you are not only putting yourself at the bottom of your own priority list, you are also responding to THEIR priority. 

People often come to me and say, "One of my priorities is to be happy, or to be successful, or to have peace of mind".  Happiness is a feeling, or maybe something we experience.  The same can be said of success, or peace of mind.  To have the life you want you must be able to describe it in more concrete terms.  To define your priorities so that you can ACT on them, you must be able to break it down in specific measurable goals.  What is it you really really want in your life that would "make you happy"?  How do you measure happiness?   How will you know when you're successful? 

The modern media has given us the idea that if we are really really busy now, one day out of the blue, our great simplified life will fall out of the sky.  That is totally and completely backwards!  We can't have it all.  We never could, and never will.  You must choose.  If you create the simplicity now, and direct your energy into your priorities, THEN success will follow.  You must pick your priorities and nurture them so that they grow.    

Creating priorities doesn't mean that you have to choose between family and career.  Not at all.  That's about balance (a whole different show!)  Creating priorities does mean that you do have to choose the way you allocate your time.  Each of us is given the same 24 hours each day.  Successful or happy people spend theirs in a way that takes them towards their goals.  The key to success here is to examine how you spend your time in relation to what you say your priorities are.  "Don't schedule your time around your priorities, schedule your priorities around your time."

You do not HAVE to spend many many hours preparing food, cleaning the house, maintaining the landscape, running errands, watching TV, or playing computer games.  You may choose to do that, but then you are making choices that do not reflect what you SAY are your choices about your priorities. 

If you choose to spend a large amount of time on things that are low on your list of priorities, then a reallocation of time is the only way that you will ever achieve your most important goals.  If you don't do that, then that too is a choice…a choice that probably reflects where your true priorities are.

Creating priorities is where the real "YOU" comes into play.  This is a very individual step, and one that requires that you reach into your heart and tell the truth about what you really want out of life.  It's time to stop listening to what your mother wanted, or what your friends talked you into in college.  What's important to you?  How do you want to live your life? 

No matter what your priorities are -financial security, healthy relationships, or having more free time - creating and following your priorities can achieve them all.  Successful people have known this for years.  Now it's YOUR turn to use their secrets to your advantage. 
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Resource Information:    Life Coach Kathy Gates specializes in helping people who are ready to create a simpler, less stressful, more joyful and meaningful lifestyle.  Visit www.reallifecoach.com to learn more.