Kathy Gates 
Certified Emotional Intelligence Life Coach 

 Scottsdale, AZ 85261 Tel: 480.998.5843 
 Email:   kathy@reallifecoach.com

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7 Ways to Lighten Your Load 
By Kathy Gates,  Life Coach
Word Count  760

1.  Decide right now to expect nothing.
"Wait a minute", you say,  "if I expect nothing, won’t I get nothing?"  Of course you can live “down” to expectations.  In this context, however, it means to not get so hung up on needing and wanting and striving and wishing and pursuing that you miss what’s right in front of you. Setting goals to move you towards what you want is definitely important.  But what is good and sweet and wonderful in your life right now?  What are you missing out on by expecting something better to be around the next corner?

2.  Let some long-standing, idealistIC goals die.
This can be the most freeing thing you do, and a tremendous sense of relief.   Always wanted to be the world's first perfect parent?  Are you disappointed in yourself because you haven’t yet won the Pulitzer Prize?  Are you comparing yourself to the body of a runway model?   Does your marriage lack the romance of daytime soap operas?  It’s time to get over these type unrealistic goals.  Stop beating up on yourself, and allow yourself to be human.  

3. Truly accept that failure is the only way to succeed.
There’s a famous quote that says “the only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary”.  The story goes that famous basketball player Michael Jordan was cut from his high school team because he wasn’t good enough.  History would have been very different if he had let "failure" stop him from doing what he wanted to do.  By trying to ride a bike without training wheels as kids, we all learned that with enough trial and error we’ll eventually get what we want.  Practice patience.  Practice failure.

4.  Make peace with something that you already know.
What do you already know, that you will “learn” in 6 months?   What this means is, what is in your life today that is probably going to catch up to you and cause you big trouble 6 months from now?  Are you overspending?  Is your marriage on shaky ground? Are you living without insurance?  Do you have a health problem that you’re trying to ignore?  Make peace with what’s going on in your life now, so that you can make a plan to deal with it. 

5. Question your beliefs.
These are beliefs about yourself and who you are. Were you raised to believe that the scale is your enemy and one of life's greatest triumphs is to fit into a size 6 (or 32 waist)?   Do you think you’ll never have any money because you’re just not a money manager?  Do you find yourself overly generous with your time, space, and energy, to compensate for a fear of being selfish? Do you shy from commitment because you were raised with the thought that you were too forceful to ever be a good parent?  Did you stop writing your book because you believe that nobody would ever publish what you wrote?  Do you not learn to parachute because you’re “too old”.  These beliefs hold you back.  These beliefs stop you from ever trying.   Challenge them.

6. Find out what you really really want out of life.
Begin by thinking about times when you are feeling completely happy, content and comfortable...and time just flies by.  What are you doing?  What types of skills and activities are going on?  What resources are you using?  If the President were to email you today and offer you a full grant to do whatever you wanted, what would you do?  If you no longer had to work for a living, how would you spend your time?  Write down the answers to these questions, and you will start to see a pattern.  These things bring you joy, these things that are important to you, these are things that you want in your life.

7.  Organize your lifeSTYLE to support the life you want.
What would your average day's schedule say are your priorities...laundry, errands, cleaning?  One writer asks, “does it make sense to say that driving alone can save you 10 minutes on your travel time, if it means that you give up 10 minutes of reading time in a carpool?”  Consider how you spend your time carefully. Would you hire a babysitter to watch the kids while you spend the afternoon cleaning the closet?  Of course not.   Consciously set up your lifestyle to support the way you want to spend your 24 hours. Surround yourself with the attitudes, people, resources, and tools that will support the life you want to live.
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Resource Information:    Life Coach Kathy Gates specializes in helping people who are ready to create a simpler, less stressful, more joyful and meaningful lifestyle.  Visit www.reallifecoach.com to learn more.