Kathy Gates 
Certified Emotional Intelligence Life Coach 

Scottsdale, AZ 85261 Tel: 480.998.5843 
 Email:   kathy@reallifecoach.com

"7 Things for your NOT-Do List" 
Kathy Gates,  Professional Life Coach
Word Count 816

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to find yourself reacting to life’s daily busyness?  You end up accomplishing nothing of real value.  Try this “Not-Do” List, to see where you could cut out some of the intrusions on your daily life, so that you can find time to look at what’s really important to you. Make your own list, but here are a few ideas to get you started.  Think of all the things you hate to do, and find a creative way to ditch them.   

1.  DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE.  
Isn’t that why God made answering machines and teenagers.  Take the calls on YOUR schedule instead of everyone else’s.  Ask friends and family not to call during certain hours.  Don’t be rude; just explain that you’re trying to make your time work for you instead of against you.  We all have the same 24 hours.  You can either live it according to everyone else’s schedule, or you can decide when and how you will use your own time.  Put life on YOUR schedule, instead of just reacting to the next thing that catches your attention.

2.  DON'T ACCEPT AN INVITATION TO A PARTY.
If it’s the one Saturday you have free that month, and you really want to spend it alone with your spouse, say no thank you with love and grace.  By saying no to others, you have said yes to your marriage.  Remember that you always have options, and you are always at choice.  It’s unrealistic to think that everyone will hate you if you don’t attend a party.  Don’t lose sight of the big picture. 

3.  DON'T MAKE THE BED.
No, this is not an invitation to become Mr&Ms. Sloppy.   While I’m a 100% advocate on how a cluttered environment affects a cluttered mind, all I’m really suggesting here is to dump the “good girl/good guy” routine for a while.  And don’t use the excuse, “that’s just the way I am.”   Try retraining yourself to be a little looser.  Does it really matter if you leave dishes in the sink?  Or does it really matter that you spend the extra 5 minutes listening to your child’s story.  Realize that you are still just as loveable even if you aren’t perfect.   

4.  DON'T WATCH THE NEWS. 
You pay attention what you put into your body; pay attention to what you put into your mind.  I’m not advocating that you become completely uninformed about the world around you, but studies have shown that people often experience heightened emotions, anxiety, even anger when watching these programs.  Dr. Andrew Weil even suggests a total “news fast” for one day…don’t read, watch, or listen to any news for one day, then increase it as you feel comfortable.  If that’s too drastic for you, perhaps try a method that’s a little less invasive, such as print or online, where you have a bit more control than the images being right in your living room.  Choose your news carefully.

5.  DON'T DO WHAT YOU "SHOULD" DO. 
The “shoulds” and in our lives sometimes have a tendency to masquerade as true responsibilities, which they often really aren’t.   Take a good long look at the “shoulds” in your life.   Try replacing them with “I want..”. “I want to visit my Dad each weekend, but sometimes I need to spend that extra time with my children.”      “I want to cook a healthy home-made meal for my family each night, but sometimes it’s just not practical.”  By taking the “should” out of the sentence, you are now able to see that you’re not a bad person and aren’t shirking responsibility.  You are simply making another choice on occasion. 

6.  DON'T TRY TO HIDE WHAT YOU PERCEIVE TO BE A WEAKNESS.
Life is hard enough without trying to be somebody you aren’t.  Consider your weaknesses AND your strengths, and work with them to make the best person that you already are.  The less you try to hide what you think is a fault, the less it will actually be on stage.  Accept who you are, and use it to your advantage.  There’s an old saying, if you can’t hide it, paint it red. If you can accept your own weaknesses, you’ll also have a lot easier time accepting other people as well.  Have faith in yourself.  Love who you are. 

7.  DON'T PROCRASTINATE.
If you don’t feel like you’re making progress on your goal, or you have that “stuck” feeling, do something, anything that is in the direction you want to go, no matter how small.  One phone call, one sit-up.  If you’re truly feeling overwhelmed by a project,  concentrate on the next few weeks, instead of the next few years.  For example, instead of thinking you need $20 thousand for a down payment on a house, think about how much money can you save just this month towards building your dream house.
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Resource Information:    Life Coach Kathy Gates specializes in helping people who are ready to create a simpler, less stressful, more joyful and meaningful lifestyle.  Visit www.reallifecoach.com to learn more.