Kathy Gates
Certified Emotional Intelligence Life Coach
Scottsdale, AZ 85261 Tel: 480.998.5843
Email: kathy@reallifecoach.com
Kathy Gates
Certified Emotional Intelligence Life Coach
Scottsdale, AZ 85261 Tel: 480.998.5843
Email: kathy@reallifecoach.com
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Successful
Communication:
How To Tell People What You Really Want
Kathy Gates, Professional Life Coach
Successful communication (or feedback) is usually associated with improving employee productivity. But feedback is not just for supervisor-employee relationships.
Being able to deliver honest, constructive feedback is also vital to
healthy relationships at home.
If
you run a home based business, you also need to be able to give effective
messages to suppliers, customers, marketers, and web-site designers, just to
name a few.
Successful communication requires that you get the other person’s full
attention.
Plan your discussion at a time when both parties can focus on the
situation. Asking your teenager to
rethink the way she’s spending her money while she’s got a rented movie and
friends in the other room is guaranteed to be ignored.
Telling an employee to redo a report as you rush out to a meeting is almost
always going to generate hurt feelings. Choose a quiet time, and schedule enough
time so that you don’t feel obliged to rush through the conversation.
Successful communication is on-going, not an out of left-field ambush.
When someone does something great, don’t assume they know how you feel.
Tell them! The same
is true for when you need to correct a behavior. “May I make a suggestion”
are very valuable words for an on-going dialogue of behavior.
Successful communication focuses on behavior, not personalities.
People will always respond more readily to facts than fault-finding.
Don’t make it personal. Always avoid sarcasm or insults. Whether it’s
negative or positive feedback, connect it to specific examples, which will help
take the focus off the individual and highlight the behavior instead. Tell him
exactly what he did that was not acceptable, or in the reverse help him to
continue appropriate behavior by praising his accomplishments.
Successful communication will motivate, not discourage individuals. We
all feel the need to hear from others how we are doing.
It’s a basis for communication and trust.
A discussion resulting in an exchange of ideas and information is always
a powerful motivator.
Knowing what actions you want, what your goals are, and having a method to give
them to you will motivate people to please you.
Motivated people have specific goals and look for ways to achieve them,
and efficiency is a natural result
of that.
Successful
communication focuses on one thing at a time.
Be specific. If you are giving negative feedback, be direct about
what the problem is, stick to the topic, and avoid dragging in other problems.
Instead of telling your teenager that you’ve been proud of her attitude
lately, compliment an exact time she was willing to do something without a fuss.
Instead of saying “Hey Chuck, nice work on that project”, try “Hey
Chuck, I really appreciate you working so closely with XYZ Vendor to get that
equipment delivered on time”.
Successful communication focuses on things the individual can do something about.
Remarks concerning matters that are out of the individual’s control are not
useful. It only increases a
person’s frustration to be criticized for something they can’t do anything
about. Reprimanding your teenager
for spending too much time on an assignment is unfair since she can’t control
her teachers’ requests. Expecting
your associate to write a business letter the same way you would is impossible since
he can’t read your mind.
Successful communication offers solutions.
When you must give negative feedback to someone, always focus on what
corrective action they can take. Be
willing to
give them the support and tools needed to correct the situation.
Discuss the options, or explain the rules and clearly define the
consequences.
The overall objective of successful communication is to help the person view the
information as an opportunity to learn, instead of a threat.
By offering specific examples, you will be able to relate how changing
his behavior will help him achieve his goal, and at the same time he will give
you want you want too
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Resource Information:
Life Coach Kathy Gates
specializes in helping people who are ready to create a simpler, less stressful,
more joyful and meaningful lifestyle. Visit www.reallifecoach.com
to learn more.
.